


Lesbianversary

by artemiskitty



Series: Mistakes [5]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23359684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemiskitty/pseuds/artemiskitty
Summary: A year after the events at the beginning of Mistakes, Alex and Olivia reflect on the beginning of their relationship and celebrate the anniversary of Alex’s realization that she is a lesbian. Occurs before the events of Redemption. Will be a 2-shot.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot
Series: Mistakes [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1132235
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Refers to the events of Mistakes, but nothing violent in here.
> 
> I wrote this after reflecting on my own lesbianversary at the end of February.

“I’m sorry, Liv,” Alex whispered through tears, barely able to get the words out before Olivia, spooning her and holding her hand, arm wrapped around Alex’s naked body under the sheet, hushed her and gently kissed her temple.  
“Shhh,” Olivia whispered. “You’re alright. You’re safe. Just breathe, love.”  
Alex felt the tears begin to come again, and Olivia held her tight.  
“Stay with me, sweetheart,” she coaxed, and held Alex, as her shoulders shook, then brushed her fingers on her girlfriend’s cheek, as Olivia spooned her gently from behind, holding her hand. Olivia hated this feeling, watching Alex struggle. Lately, she had been struggling a lot, teetering back and forth between hypersexuality, approaching Olivia every night for physical contact beyond their gentle touching rituals, but then freezing when Olivia actually began to touch her. Olivia’s patience and endless empathy almost made Alex feel worse. She wanted to want it, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t.  
The week had been particularly fraught. Alex had known it would be, and had planned to retreat, alone, to her Vineyard house. She had taken a full week off, even. She hadn’t planned on Olivia insisting on being with her, on taking care of her. She didn’t really want to subject kind, gentle Olivia to the way she felt right now. Olivia didn’t deserve this part of her.  
Olivia pressed a kiss behind Alex’s ear, squeezing her hand before she slipped out of the bed and put on her robe. Alex pulled the sheet around herself tighter, aware, wondering where Olivia was going. These days, Olivia was all about reassurance; it was odd for Olivia to get out of bed without a detailed explanation of where she was going, when she’d be back, and an inquiry into Alex’s thoughts on the whole matter.  
She needn’t have worried, though, as she heard a drawer, and the Olivia appeared in front of her, holding a pile of clothes. Though the fire was roaring in the bedroom’s marble fireplace, she had brought long pants and sleeves, for which Alex was silently grateful. Olivia held open the pyjama pants, plain black panties already inside, and slipped them under the covers near Alex’s feet, then did the same for a camisole and blue silk pyjama top, which Alex slipped into.  
She blushed after putting the new nightclothes on, only half-daring to look up at Olivia, who was smiling at her, eyes wet with tears.  
“Liv...” Alex whispered.  
Olivia leaned down to kiss her gently on the cheek, and then slipped back into the bed behind her, intertwining their fingers again.  
After a few minutes, their breath synchronized, and Olivia squeezed her lover’s hand.  
“I don’t suppose it helps to know this is normal,” Olivia murmured, finally. “And that this won’t last forever.”  
“Hmm,” Alex agreed, bringing their hands up to kiss Olivia’s fingers.  
“Will you agree now to take sex off the table for a few days?” Olivia suggested. “Just a couple of days, to take the pressure off. We’ll probably feel much better after Saturday.”  
Alex nodded, turning around to face Olivia in her arms.  
“It’s okay that this is hard, love,” Olivia whispered, kissing her forehead.  
Alex exhaled, her eyes closed when Olivia kissed her, feeling much calmer than she had felt moments before. She cupped Olivia’s face and kissed her, slowly, over and over, as she felt her lover’s body relax. So often, Olivia was guarded with Alex, only relaxing when she was sure Alex was comfortable, or enthusiastic, and the past few days had heightened her anxiety about touching and making love to her. Alex was making progress with therapy, but the anniversary of Alex’s rape weighed heavily on both their hearts, and particularly on their sex life.  
As they kissed, Alex glided her fingertips down over Olivia’s skin, down her neck, parting the robe, and began massaging her breasts. Olivia deserves to feel good, she thought. She’s been so patient when I can’t... and I haven’t even been able to make her feel good.  
Olivia let out a sigh, her eyes closed, and a low moan as Alex leaned in to kiss her neck, rubbing her thumbs back and forth over Olivia’s nipples.  
“Let me touch you?” Alex murmured, slowly maneuvering her fingers down Olivia’s abs, over her hips, and between her thighs, pushing Olivia’s top leg away to give herself room to maneuver. She kept kissing Olivia, watching the expressions on her lover’s face, as her fingertips danced lightly through the curls and through the moisture around her lips. It wasn’t often that Olivia let Alex love her when Alex had trouble having sex; unless they were touching at the same time, which they preferred, Olivia would usually wait until Alex had enjoyed herself and been satisfied before allowing herself to be touched. And if Alex had a flashback or an emotional moment during their lovemaking, it was out of the question for Olivia to accept pleasure when Alex was in pain.  
Alex’s fingers rubbed back and forth, through and around Olivia’s lips, until she circled her index finger over her clit, causing Olivia to gasp and shift her pelvis forward, opening her legs further as her mouth hung open. Alex squeezed her breast with her other hand, and Olivia moved in closer, wrapping her arms around Alex. Delicate fingers sliding back and forth slowly on each side of her clit made her moan with pleasure, until Alex’s fingertips began spreading apart her lips and tentatively exploring her entrance.  
Alex may have been shy, but she was thorough and methodical, and she was ready for this - to be inside Olivia. She pulled back from the kiss and waited for Olivia to meet her eye contact, and Olivia, hazy-eyed and incredibly aroused, could only whisper, “please,” and let out a small sigh of pleasure as Alex slipped a finger inside. Olivia, soaking up the pleasure, watched Alex’s face as she discovered the silky softness inside, rubbing slowly before nearly pulling out, so she could add a second finger.  
They maintained eye contact, something Olivia found important during sex, as Alex explored.  
“Right there,” Olivia gasped as Alex pressed against the spongy part inside her, panting as the tension mounted. “Oh, right... there, and...Add... your thumb on my... oh, yes!”  
Alex blushed, brushing her thumb slowly back, forth, and around Olivia’s clit, sliding her fingers in and out gently as Olivia moaned. She appreciated when Olivia guided her and told her how to pleasure her, and especially when she showed her appreciation. It wasn’t long before Olivia’s mouth made an O, and Alex leaned in to kiss her, muffling the soft panting sounds, pressing their lips together as she applied more pressure to her thumb. She felt Olivia’s muscles begin to tighten around her fingers, and felt a surge of liquid as Olivia pulled her deeper inside.  
Tears came to Alex’s eyes as she continued her massage, watching the pleasure roll across Olivia’s face. She wanted pleasure like that. It seemed to come so easily to Olivia. She knew Olivia had had her own challenges in the sex-life department and Alex never wanted to diminish her experience of attempted sexual assault, but... sex and pleasure seemed to come so easily to Olivia in a way that they never had for her, despite her newly awakened desire. Olivia was so confident. She knew what she liked and how to guide and please Alex. She didn’t have anything to be ashamed of, while Alex sometimes felt like she had nothing *but* shame to feel about sex. Sometimes, Alex wanted nothing more than to be able to have amazing, yet uncomplicated, intense sex with Olivia. But on days like today she didn’t dare think it would ever be possible. It was hard not to be jealous of Olivia’s easy desire sometimes.  
Olivia let out a breath as she pulled away slowly from their kiss, blinking and trying to catch her breath. She reached down to take Alex’s hand, which had stilled but not moved from between her legs, and she intertwined their fingers together between their chests, pressing her forehead to Alex’s.  
She swallowed, and struggled to meet Alex’s eyes, trying not to reveal the slight guilt she felt that Alex wasn’t in a position to receive pleasure lately.  
“I love you,” she whispered sincerely, squeezing Alex’s hand.  
“I love you, too,” Alex murmured back. She paused, and took a deep breath. “This feeling is just temporary. In a few days I won’t feel this way anymore, or, well, at least it will be better, and maybe we can...“  
Olivia interrupted her with a kiss on the forehead and a smile. “I think that’s my line,” she said.  
Alex blushed, and Olivia brushed the back of her fingers across Alex’s cheek, wiping a tear away with her thumb.  
“We’re in this together,” Olivia said, and this time, it was Alex’s turn to squeeze her hand. “If you want to talk about it, or not... either way I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”  
Alex almost broke down, but held back her tears. “I know, Liv,” she said. “Thank you. But I think... I just need to get through it. There isn’t anything we can do besides wait it out and try not to let it get to us.”  
Olivia nodded. “I understand,” she said. “Whatever you need.”  
“I just need help focusing on other stuff, okay?” Alex said. “Just for a few days. Then we can plan our anniversary, and do something fun.”  
Olivia smiled gently. “I may have some ideas,” she suggested.  
“As long as they didn’t come from Abbie,” Alex said wryly, and they laughed.  
“Only one of them,” said Olivia, winking. “I won’t tell you which one.”  
Alex sighed and rolled her eyes.  
Olivia reached over to brush Alex’s hair back from her face, caressing her. “And as much as I’m looking forward to celebrating the anniversary of you declaring you had fallen madly in love with me...”  
Alex blushed and laughed. “That’s not...”  
“That’s exactly how I remember it,” Olivia teased, kissing her. “But, what I was going to say, was that before *our* anniversary, *you* have an important anniversary.”  
Alex looked confused.  
“Your lesbianversary,” Olivia clarified. “We should celebrate the day you saw the light.”  
Alex nodded slowly. “I should have realized a lot sooner,” she admitted. “Before a lot of unpleasant sex and a rape.”  
“That’s okay,” Olivia said softly. “The important thing is that you were finally able to be honest with yourself about what you felt and what you wanted. About how much you wanted me,” she said, winking. She got serious again. “Look, I know that sexuality wasn’t an easy thing for you, and I think you’re brave for the way you’ve embraced that part of yourself. I’m really proud of you, and I think we should celebrate and honor that.”  
Alex shook her head, laughing slightly. “Liv, honestly... when it occurred to me that being a lesbian meant I never had to have sex with men again, all I felt was relief. And... a bit sad that I had subjected myself to it without enjoying it for so long. I did it for the men that I was with at the expense of me.”  
Olivia listened sadly, and caressed Alex again. She bit her lip. “I hope that, with what we have... that whenever I touch you, it’s because you want me to, and that it makes you feel good. I know that sometimes you’re still healing or you get triggered and it doesn’t always feel as good as it should, but...”  
Alex put her fingertips on Olivia’s lips, stopping her, and looked into her eyes. She nodded slowly. “Olivia...” she whispered. “I know that every time you touch me, it’s *for* me, never *to* me,” she emphasized. “I doubt I would have been as motivated to heal and to try hard things if it weren’t with you. And the only way to heal... to know if I’m healing... is to try.” She kissed Olivia. “The triggers aren’t *you* hurting me, they’re *the past* still hurting me.”  
“I know, love,” Olivia said gently. “And the thing to celebrate is that you are becoming more of who you really are. And letting me love you for who you really are.” She squeezed Alex’s hand.  
“I’m so lucky,” Alex whispered.  
“You really are,” Olivia said, grinning. “Most of us spend years on the lesbian dating scene, and you just declare yourself a lesbian and in love, and everything in the universe, including me, just... bends to your will.”  
Alex shrugged innocently. “What can I say? One of the perks of being a Cabot. And an attorney.”  
Olivia laughed. “Did you know you’re adorable?” She said.  
“Thank you for being here with me,” Alex said.  
“I love you. There’s no place I’d rather be,” Olivia said, wrapping her arms around Alex and closing her eyes to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex felt a bit guilty that she had decided to take the afternoon off from work without telling Olivia, but she had decided to take some time to relax and reflect before her lover came over at 7. They had the whole weekend ahead of them after that, which Alex was sure would be filled with meaningful conversation and... practicing lesbianism, but she did want to have some time for herself, too. It was important to her to work out some of this without Olivia’s input.

She took off her work clothes and changed into leggings and a tank top, throwing the suit into the laundry in her walk-in closet. Then, she went to the bedroom, and stood for a moment, hand on her hip, while she considered the possibilities. She felt compelled to celebrate the occasion somehow, but hadn’t really been able to come up with a clear plan. Her therapist, Dr. Caroline, had agreed that celebrating this moment of self-discovery and honesty with herself was a good idea, but hadn’t really offered any helpful suggestions.

Alex dropped her hand and walked to the kitchen, checking again to make sure that the bottle of champagne she’d put in the wine fridge was chilled. She leaned against the kitchen counter, wrapping her arms around herself, and bit her lip. What is this about? Why is it so important to me? She asked herself, hoping the answer would come to her.

Alex, you spent so long feeling dirty when men were attracted to you, she heard her voice say. You are beautiful, but you were never beautiful for you. It was always for the male gaze. The patriarchy. To impress your colleagues and judges and even the rapists you put away. You didn’t start seeing how beautiful you are, inside and out, until you stopped pretending that any part of you was for men. Olivia helped you to see who you truly are, and to love you for it.

Tears streamed down Alex’s face as she realized how truly free coming out to herself had made her feel. She had never wanted love, or sexual attraction, or any kind of attention from a man. She had denied herself love, and even subjected herself to pain, because she thought it had to come from men. Unknowingly, she had punished herself for being a lesbian. And once she had acknowledged that truth, she had opened up to Olivia’s love. The love she was sure had saved her. And she had started to truly love herself.

She went back to the bedroom and stood in front of the full-length mirror, arms by her side, and studied her face. There were more lines this year than last, a byproduct of all of the trauma and healing she’d done. Last year, when she’d looked in the mirror, she’d been a victim, with bruises and scars, unsure if she’d ever be able to enjoy a physical relationship with anyone. Olivia’s patience and gentleness had paid off, and while things were far from perfect, she did have a sex life she enjoyed for the first time. She even had the occasional orgasm, unthinkable a year ago.

If Alex had learned anything as she navigated the healing process, it was the power of recognizing and celebrating any amount of progress, no matter how small, and of expressing gratitude. And Alex *was* grateful. The past week, and the anniversary of the rape, had brought plenty of challenges, and she was often frustrated by flashbacks or her body just not cooperating. But it was temporary. And Olivia was there. And she had a good therapist.

She met her own eyes in the mirror and took a shaky breath. The old Alex would’ve thought she was crazy. The new Alex had to be open to supporting herself with love and kindness.

“Alexandra,” she began, swallowing tears already. “I am so proud of you for finally being honest with yourself about who you really are, and for opening up to love. I know it was never easy for you to accept love and support or to be vulnerable with anyone, and I appreciate you for letting Olivia in and for allowing yourself to love her.”

She blinked away tears again and forced herself to look back into her own eyes. “I know you want to enjoy yourself with her this weekend and be able to relax, and I want you to do that without putting pressure on yourself. You’re doing great. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Whatever you are able to do and enjoy is enough. And whatever your body’s limits are this week, that’s okay too. Whatever happens, you can be close to Olivia and enjoy her company.” 

She felt a twinge in her heart as she imagined tonight going the way last weekend had gone, with her freezing every time Olivia touched her. Olivia had been gentle, and patient, and so so incredibly understanding, but Alex had felt awful that she hadn’t been able to overcome the flashbacks. She didn’t want a repeat of that experience.

“I know you’re disappointed in how things turned out last weekend and how you weren’t able to make love with Olivia. It’s okay. That was last week, and you were taking care of yourself and healing. It’s okay that sometimes sex isn’t going to work out. You tried, and Olivia knows you love her, and you made some progress. Just relax, and enjoy how things unfold tonight. No matter what happens, you are going to be okay. You’re safe right now. You’re safe with Olivia. She loves you and would never hurt you. And you both deserve to have wonderful, passionate lovemaking. Just relax, and breathe, and be open if Olivia suggests anything. You know she wants to take care of you and please you, so let her do her magic.”

Alex sat down on the edge of her bed, and cried for a few moments, feeling all of her emotions deeply. That was another thing she hadn’t done much of until she’d fallen in love, feel things to the depth of her soul. But it felt different now. It wasn’t desperate, it was cleansing.

She checked her watch. Almost time to place their delivery order so it would arrive shortly after Olivia, as they’d decided to stay in tonight. She’d order the food, then lay down to meditate and relax for a bit before Olivia arrived. She took a breath. She was good. Really good. And excited Olivia would be there soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, when Olivia arrives to celebrate!


	3. Chapter 3

When Alex was done, she showered, put on matching lingerie, and got dressed, opting for very light makeup. Normally she wouldn’t bother with the makeup at all - Olivia loved her au naturel - but it was a special occasion. She curled her hair a little as she blow dried, and then paced awkwardly between her office and bedroom, putting away things that really didn’t need to be put away, before sitting on the couch, legs crossed, to not watch TV. She was more nervous than she thought.

It was just Olivia after all. Olivia wouldn’t even want to make love if she was nervous like this. Olivia was going to have enough trouble trying again after last weekend’s failure; she hated to risk hurting Alex. Alex knew a conversation was coming, and sometimes, she just wanted to get into bed and let things progress naturally, without talking about it all the time. She appreciated Olivia’s concern, but sometimes she just wanted sex without reminding herself about the times when it wasn’t easy or straightforward. 

Alex got up to open the wine, and set the glasses on the table, just as she heard Olivia’s key in the door. She felt herself relax, and she smiled, setting the wine on the table, to go, as Olivia set her bag on the ground and the white pastry box she was carrying on the table, took off her boots and hung up her leather jacket. 

Then she looked up to see Alex, and smiled, opening her arms, and they held each other. Olivia felt Alex’s heart pound, and then her breath slow as they held each other, arms wrapped around each other’s waist, until Olivia pulled back, smiled gently, and brushed Alex’s cheek with her thumb. Their eyes met.

“Hey,” Olivia said gently. 

“Hey,” Alex replied, smiling back. She cupped Olivia’s cheek with her hand, and leaned in to kiss her lover. “I missed you,” she whispered between kisses.

“I missed you too,” Olivia said.

“The food will be here any minute,” Alex said. “Do you want wine?”

“I should probably get some food in me first,” Olivia said. “I didn’t get to eat much for lunch. I’m starving.”

Alex’s eyes fell to the pastry box Olivia had set down on the table.

“I brought dessert,” Olivia said, her smile widening into a grin. “No peeking. It’s a surprise.”

Alex looked thoughtful, tilting her head. “Liv, what did you get…?” She asked.

Olivia flashed a grin. “Don’t worry. You’ll love it,” she said, heading into the kitchen just as there was a knock on the door. As Alex tipped the delivery driver and set the food out on the table, serving both of their plates, Olivia tucked away the pastry box in the kitchen and brought out the wine glasses, pouring a generous glass for each of them. She watched Alex out of the corner of her eye. When she sat down, she picked up her glass, and held it out, waiting for Alex to sit, and relax.

“I want to make a toast,” Olivia said, smiling at Alex. Alex blushed. “A year ago, I was watching my best friend go through some really tough stuff, and I was just hoping I could be loving and supportive enough to be with her through it,” she began, swallowing. “I have been so lucky to watch you heal, and become more you, and open up to me. And even luckier to be able to hold you, and make love to you, and kiss you, and have you blow my mind, in the bedroom and outside of it. I never in a million years thought that this - that we - could ever happen. I’m glad we play on the same team. And I’m grateful you’re on my team.” Olivia said, tears in her eyes. 

Alex reached over and put her hand on top of Olivia’s gently, squeezing slightly.

“Liv,” she said. “After... everything else, coming out wasn’t hard. It was one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. And I owe a lot of that to you.” she paused, and looked Olivia in the eye, then pursed her lips into a small smirk. “I know I’m not... easy to deal with in the best of times. So... thanks for sticking by me with all of this. For holding me tight and for giving me space and for always seeming to know what I need.”

“Lex, nothing has ever been easier than loving you. Even with —“ she made scare quotes — “all of this.”

A single tear leaked out of the corner of Alex’s eye, and they simply looked at each other for a few moments, before eating again.

After they finished dinner, chatting about the mundane details of their week at work, Olivia began clearing the plates into the dishwasher and putting away the food in the fridge, while Alex refilled their wine glasses. She tried to approach the pastry box on the counter, but Olivia admonished her not to peek.

“I brought a movie,” Olivia said, patting her hands dry on the dish towel. “I thought it fit the theme.” Alex raised an eyebrow, and Olivia handed her the case. Carol, a movie about a love affair between two women.

“It’s my favorite lesbian movie,” she explained, blushing.

Alex nodded. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“And, I, um... brought something else. I thought maybe tonight I could give you a massage. Take care of you. After the movie. But, I want you to think about it first.” She pulled out a small bottle of massage oil from her bag, and then a book. Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy.

Alex shifted. So did Olivia.

“It’s, um... for after a regular massage. To release tension.”

“So, a massage with a happy ending?” Alex said, half of her mouth raised in a smirk.

“Well... not exactly. It’s an actual massage. It’s not about... pleasuring you. It’s about relaxing the muscles and... releasing stored trauma or emotions.”

“That sounds a bit woo-woo for you, no?” Alex asked.

Olivia blushed. “I just thought... I mean, you do the woo-woo stuff.” It wasn’t unheard of for Alex to complement her therapy with things like massages and reiki and essential oils. Alex put her hand on Olivia’s arm. 

“Liv, I just... give me a chance to read about it first? I know you’re trying to help,” she clarified quickly. “But, you know new things in the bedroom make me nervous, and... it’s not your responsibility to treat me or fix me.”

Olivia nodded, averting her eyes, and Alex touched her fingertips to Olivia’s face, until their eyes met again.

“I appreciate the thought, Liv, really. And I’m not saying no. I just... tell me about why you want to do this,” she said gently.

Olivia looked away again. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot...”

“I know, Liv,” Alex said, sighing.

“I, um... I had one once. I know you do therapy and get massages and do all kinds of work, but I just... I thought this was something I could do for you.”

“Liv,” Alex said gently. “You do plenty for me.” She wiped Olivia’s glistening eyes. “I just want... I want to have a normal relationship with you, and do things... make love without thinking about it, or having to stop, and you’re not responsible for that. You already make me feel safe, Liv, and love me, and I... I don’t want you to feel like you have to fix me too.”

Olivia opened her arms, and held Alex. “Alexandra, sweetheart, I know I don’t have to fix you, because you’re not broken. I want to do it to nurture you. Because... I think it will make you feel good. And we can just focus on you, and getting to know your body better.” She kissed Alex on the forehead.

Alex nodded as she processed, and met Olivia’s eyes again. “And what about you?” She asked. “When do we focus on you and make you feel good?”

Olivia blushed and shrugged.

“Do you see the problem?” Alex said gently. 

“Lex, I would want to do this for you even if we weren’t, if you weren’t... I mean...” Olivia took a breath, and stopped. “I love the way we make love, Alexandra. I promise this isn’t about trying to fix you. I just wanted to do something different and special for you, and the massage didn’t seem that risky because it’s not that different from most of what we’ve been doing. But if you don’t want me to, we’ll just do what we normally do. It’s up to you.” Olivia kissed Alex gently.

“I just don’t want...” Alex felt her face get warm as she blushed, blinking away tears. Maybe Olivia wasn’t coddling her after all.

“You don’t want what, love?”

Alex shrugged. “I just... I don’t want this to feel like sex therapy or something and that you’re just helping with my Rape Recovery Plan or something. I’m sorry. That sounds ridiculous.”

Olivia looked at her seriously. “You know, I’m having sex with you because I love you and I like having sex with you. I like learning about your body and making you feel good. I’m not trying to be your therapy. I just wanted to do something nice for you and thought it was an option. I’m sorry I asked.” Olivia sighed and walked over to turn on the TV and put in the DVD player.

Alex didn’t move, but her eyes followed Olivia across the room. Shit. She felt the tightness of shame in her face and in her chest. Don’t cry, Alex, she told herself. But why are you such an idiot? You just hurt Olivia’s feelings, and she was just trying to do something nice. She’s not going to put up with this shit forever, you know. You’re so focused on boundaries that you’re going to push her away. What is this really about?

Alex blinked back tears and brought the wine glasses to the coffee table. Olivia wasn’t the problem here. What was going on? She took a breath. Five count in, five to hold, and five out. She felt the tightness in her chest release.

“I’m sorry, Liv,” she said, after a moment. “I don’t know what my problem is. But it’s not you,” she admitted softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Olivia smiled gently and brushed a tear away with her thumb. “It’s okay. Let’s not...”

Alex nodded. “Let’s just watch the movie.”

She relaxed again as she snuggled into Olivia, leaning against her between her legs. Their fingers intertwined, and Olivia’s other hand roamed gently up Alex’s leg and arm, caressing her absentmindedly with her fingertips, until Alex too her other hand as well and kissed Olivia’s knuckles.

“Tell me when you’re ready for dessert,” Olivia murmured, about halfway though the movie.

“Are you going to tell me what you got?” Alex asked. Olivia shook her head, and went over to get the box off the counter, along with two fancy dessert plates from Alex’s china. Where she returned, Alex put her hand over her mouth and blushed, hard.

On the plates were two cupcakes, frosted in light pink. Alex’s had chocolate sprinkles near the top, while Olivia’s was frosted a paler shade of peach with yellow sprinkles. Vulvas. Olivia had gotten vulva-frosted cupcakes, complete with sprinkle pubic hair.

Alex took the plate gingerly, and began to laugh, still blushing furiously. “Did Abbie put you up to this??” She asked, examining the cupcake.

Olivia smiled, and then began to laugh too. “She may have told me the name of the woman who bakes these,” Olivia admitted. “She had mentioned it before.”

Alex shook her head. “Well, I guess they certainly fit the occasion!” Olivia had picked up her cupcake and begun bringing it to her mouth, but Alex stopped her. “Wait, not like that.” She set her plate down on the table and reached over, smiling mischievously, as she picked up the cupcake from Olivia’s plate and held it in front of her mouth, so she could take a bite.

Olivia looked at her, and they laughed, and she leaned forward, looking Alex in the eye as she stuck her nose into the frosting and took a bite. Nose and upper lip covered in frosting and a few stray yellow sprinkles, she leaned forward to kiss Alex,, then held up the second cupcake. Alex was more tentative in her approach, leaning in slowly, and sticking out her tongue to lick around the frosting before taking it in her own two hands and taking a smaller bit.

“Good?” Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow. She held up her cupcake as Alex nodded, blushing again. “Salute,” she said, winking as she took another bite.

Olivia began laughing again as she chewed, and pulled the cupcake away from her mouth to show Alex the jam-filled center, and the glob of jam dangling from her lower lip, and Alex made a face and began to laugh too.

“Yours has its period!” Alex squealed, bursting into a fit of laughter, as she verified that her cupcake had no jam.

“What a perfect way to celebrate,” Olivia said, between fits of giggling, reaching over to swipe her finger across the frosting clit on Alex’s cupcake and then down through the lips. She reached over and ran her finger across Alex’s lower lip, and then into Alex’s mouth.

“You always think of everything,” Alex said, reaching over to brush a crumb off Olivia’s lip, then learning in to kiss her. “I love you.”

Olivia looked at her with heavy eyelids. “Let’s go to bed,” she whispered, reaching over to take Alex’s hand.


End file.
